Happy Returns

So, J stopped at Mc D's with the kids for a happy meal because he was running late on Saturday to get them to a playdate. We rarely do fast food. So, yuck.

When I started driving this morning, I thought I was losing my mind... (too much nyquil?).

I kept hearing voices.

"I know I'm every hippo's dream"

"Wow"

What the ????

Stupid, McDs toys have a motion sensor - so, they repeat this continually the entire way home.

As if their food wasn't bad enough, now their toys will make you crazy too.

Mean Mom

Last week, I took a giant bag of candy into class for my students. They told me that I am a mean mom.

You see, the night before - I put the kids to bed. Then, I put the kids back to bed. Then, I put them back to bed and told them that I expected them to stay put. Then, I finally told them that the next time they got out of bed - they would lose all of their halloween candy.

I thought that they would stand and take notice. Instead, they tested me.

So, the next morning, J and I sequestered the really good stuff for ourselves (we aren't dumb). And, I gave ther rest of the candy to my students.

Mean mom indeed.

In the zone.

When we had our first kid, we could hand him off. He always got tons of one-on-one attention.

Then, we had our second. Now, it was man-on-man defense. Lots of individual attention, we'd keep switching kids. We lost most of our free time.

Now, with three, it is zone defense. Usually, we make it work.

Tonight, we are both sick. The kids are getting sick and (though not tired yet) they are all pissy. I can tell when B is getting sick because, even though he doesn't complain - I start to think about selling him to gypsies. (Is there a caravan nearby?)

When we are both sick, what do we do? Bitch a lot, let the kids run amok and generally feel lousy.

Blech. We need to get back to full-on zone defense before our house falls down.

It's worse than I thought.

Our money pit minivan has no demonstrable exhaust leak, meaning that my headaches are psychosomatic, or evidence of undiagnosed brain cancer.

But, on the negative side, we still need to pour $1400 into it tomorrow.

So, to sum it up,

$400 on vacation last summer
$1000 on tires on the way home from vacation last summer
$800 in repairs a month or so ago
and $1400 tomorrow.

This means, I'll have to drive this car until I am old and gray.

On the plus side, with this headache, I'll be old and gray in no time.

There better be something wrong with it.

For the last week or so, I have been intermittently suffering from nausea and headaches. This is unusual.

I, seriously, have been on the edge of green sporadically for a week and, oh seriously, my head.

Then, over the weekend the kids seemed off. Z complained of car sickness. The kids moaned and groaned during errands.

Even J got a headache - that never happens.

Hmmmm. It seems to happen in the car....

I'm spending 50 bucks today, and I better find out there is an exhaust leak, cuz' otherwise, I've gone around the bend.

Out of the Mouths of Babes (Part III)

Onward and upward with the penis theme...

My youngest was trying to clarify things the other day.

"I'm a him and you're a her".

"Yes, dear. You have a penis - you are a boy."

"I have a penis, I'm a boy. Boys have penises."

Long pause here...

"And... girls have necklaces."

Um. Glad we've straightened that out.