There better be something wrong with it.

For the last week or so, I have been intermittently suffering from nausea and headaches. This is unusual.

I, seriously, have been on the edge of green sporadically for a week and, oh seriously, my head.

Then, over the weekend the kids seemed off. Z complained of car sickness. The kids moaned and groaned during errands.

Even J got a headache - that never happens.

Hmmmm. It seems to happen in the car....

I'm spending 50 bucks today, and I better find out there is an exhaust leak, cuz' otherwise, I've gone around the bend.

Out of the Mouths of Babes (Part III)

Onward and upward with the penis theme...

My youngest was trying to clarify things the other day.

"I'm a him and you're a her".

"Yes, dear. You have a penis - you are a boy."

"I have a penis, I'm a boy. Boys have penises."

Long pause here...

"And... girls have necklaces."

Um. Glad we've straightened that out.

Out of the Mouths of Babes (Part III)

B's teacher caught me at one of Z's last soccer games.

She said that one of B's friends came running, shouting, to her across the room "B just said SHIT". She calmed him down and tried to divert attention from the word.

She approached B and asked if he had used a bad word.

He said "Yes".

As she admonished him to make better choices, he said
"BUT MY MOMMY SAYS IT ALL THE TIME".

Lovely.

Out of the Mouths of (almost) Babes

So, I gave my daily quiz in my freshmen course this morning.

I go over the answers. Students respond with "I wrote ... do I get it?"

I respond that that answer probably doesn't merit any points because...

One student looks square at me and loudly proclaims "THAT'S CRAP".

For real?

Mouths of Babes, Part II

I didn't intend this to be such a regular feature, or always penis-centric. But, I just couldn't let this pass without sharing it.

I have a friend that has three girls for our three boys. As babysitters are so blooming expensive and our kids play nicely together - we periodically sit for one another so the other couple can go out. This past Saturday it was our turn. We kept the girls; kid total = six, two 7-year-olds, two 5-year-olds, and two nearly-3-year-olds. Talk about a rowdy house!

Her little girl is potty-training. So, we made a big production of her peeing on the potty like a BIG girl. So, our little attention-hounding three year old needed to pee on the potty too. I took him into our lavatory, removed his sodden diaper and set him on the pot. He dribbled a little pee, so we lavishly praised him (this is how exciting our house is).

I (obviously) couldn't put him back into a stinky, drippy, wet diaper - so, off he toddled NEKKID to rest of the world. I came out to corral him to our bedroom, where we keep the diapers.

The little girl gaped at his little naked thing. She cocked her head. Then, she exclaimed "HE HAS A TAIL!?".

"No, no dear", I reassured her "he's a boy, boys have a penis, that's a penis".

She looked at me again, cocked her head, and stated (as though I were just insane), "No, he has a TAIL!"

Mouths of babes, Edition I

While J coached our oldest's soccer team this evening, I had my hands full with a rambunctious and overtired three year old. He climbed on me and tried to grab my camera and phone while I guarded my keys and tried to cheer appropriately.

So, I failed - during the water break, I congratulated the goalie on her hustle - the ball never made it to her end.

Then, toward the end of practice, my little guy shouts - "Hey that's my daddy, he has a big penis"

whispered- "what?"

"MY DADDY IS THERE, HE HAS A BBIGGG PEEEENIS"

"Uh, come here honey"

"OOOHH, AND I AM POOOOPY".

Too true.

Bad Car... Bad!

This has been a monumentally bad car week.

I had the tires rotated before my vacation with my sister. Five kids and two adults in one minivan for a week requires a fully working vehicle.

Once we hit the road, it was obvious the balancing job was not complete - the steering shimmied at high speeds...worse when braking (suggesting rotors and new pads are needed).

Then, the engine light came on. One day of vacation down to sit in a Honda dealership - $100 for diagnostics, $200 for a new valve, and $200 for service charges equals $500 lost plus one precious vacation day.

On the way home,with my three in the car and in the middle of the night, I blew a tire on the highway. Yes, I suppose that I could have changed it (I haven't done that for years, though).

I called AAA and lost about 45 minutes and a $15 tip. Drove home on the nickel spare.

This morning - one hour and $472 for four new tires (ya couldn't have mentioned my bald tires a week ago?).

Bad car, bad.