A study in annoying.

I am (as I write) on hold with our health insurance company.

For 15 minutes I have been listening to the same 2 minute loop of an enthusiastic helpful woman telling me about dental care. The loop actually has pauses and clicks built in so that you keep getting your hopes up, then dashing them when the loop starts again.

Then, you are sent to an operator that takes all of your information (again) - then, puts you back on hold.

Then, after another 10 minutes - someone answers, and asks for all of your information again.

AAARGH.

I am doing this to resubmit a claim for the third time (it has fallen off the abyss each other time).

This insurance company has a history of rejecting every single claim I have made, out of hand, and requiring resubmission and justification. For example, my visit to the emergency room on a Friday evening was rejected because it wasn't pre-approved (their office closes at five and I had the audacity to break my arm after five). It was noted that they have too many spurious ER visits.

My visit to the ER when I needed eight stitches in my finger was rejected when the doctor failed to note that the finger was on my RIGHT hand.

I don't want the government in charge of my health care, but I don't want these assholes involved either.

What is the most frustrating insurance fiasco you've had?

Tallying up the good.

So, I had a bad day and I chose my blog as the place to (as dh put it) - rant.

I know that I am fortunate. I am absolutely blessed. I know that. I had a bad day.

So, here I am, thankful and contrite.

• I have a handsome, smart, loving, sensitive husband.
• I have three beautiful, healthy, bright, inquisitive boys.
• I have my health (other than a cold, which is, not really a big deal, all told).
• We live in a lovely home.
• We live in a beautiful part of the country.
• My husband is good at and enjoys his job, and his job is stable.
• I have a good job that I enjoy and it is stable.
• We are comfortable and know that we can pay the bills.
• We have a loving extended family.
• Other than my occasional tantrums, we live mostly free of drama.
• I worry more about eating too much than too little.
• We are educated and our children also have that opportunity.
• We have clean running water, electricity, and a safe place to sleep.
• Our community is safe and friendly.

If you sometimes forget (like I sometimes do) how lucky you are, view the following youtube video about the "miniature earth".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drSDhlnm0e0&feature=related

I'm moving in with Alexander.

I have had it.

This is the second time I am writing this post, because my internet connection randomly turns on and off.

I am sick with about the 18th cold/flu of the fall and winter season. My nose is literally dripping snot too quickly to keep up. My head hurts from sinus congestion and I can't sleep at night. I am sick of being sick.


My kids won't help with even the most rudimentary and expected tasks - they'd rather their punishments than contribute. They don't wish to think ahead of doing anything, and are thus, followed by a series of minor (and not so minor) disasters. In the past several days, they have spilled cereal all over the floor and/or table at least three times because they were balancing it on the milk jug. They have spilled molasses all over the counter because they were trying to "help" me make cookies for the stupid cookie exchange (that I'd enjoy if my head weren't splitting). This morning, they spilled about a pint of maple syrup all over the kitchen.

They would rather be punished than help around the house - even the most basic tasks. One child would rather sit on the stairs than take the recycling to the garage. He'd also prefer to pay $3 than clear his breakfast dish. This is the same breakfast dish that was still completely full of cereal that he poured, than changed his mind. The kids wastes more food than some children get. The other left the laundry he was supposed to gather all over the house. While gathering the laundry, I found an unflushed poo, and that all of the bedding had been pulled off of the youngest's bed.

There is glitter every-effing-where in the house.

Someone (it isn't clear who, there is apparently a bad case of amnesia going around) broke a shower stall in our guest bathroom this morning.

The shower stall isn't the only part of our house that is falling apart. The columns in front of our house are rotting. Actually most of our external woodwork is rotting (window sills and door jams); I don't think that they were actually constructed of outdoor materials. There is a hole in the drywall. In our kitchen, the refrigerator is on strike - refusing to make ice or serve water, the hood is falling down, and our cabinets are falling off the wall so dramatically I've had to "store" all of our china on the dining room table. That is, when the kids aren't toting the china pieces around like they are toys. The arm is falling off of my favorite chair, threatening to dump me at any moment. The laundry sink drips, the dryer hose disconnected from the wall. Both of these little foibles will require both of us (and NO KIDS) to fix. You'd think we live in a colonial-era house or something, but it was built in 1996.

Our greedy, entitled kids want every other thing in every toy catalog we receive. Their desire increases with the likelihood of calamity or the number of breakable parts. This, from the kids that made indoor RC helicopters last less than two hours each. I think I'll give them a shower door for Christmas; those fuckers run about $400.

My grades are due on the 22nd and I have a final to give as late as the 2oth (yes, Saturday). I have a mountain of crappy papers to read between now and then.

Our post-Christmas trip was cancelled. Instead of going to the tropics, I am looking at two straight weeks in our broken house with two restless boys when I should be preparing my two new courses.

I think I'm going to move the kids to a barn so, when they leave the doors open (and let more stinkbugs in) they can say "why yes, we do live in a barn".

Christmas this year, ideally, would allow me to tuck in with some good food, some tea and a nice book. Quiet and peaceful. I don't care about decorations, socializing, fancy food, parties, shopping, buying more crap, or holiday spirit. I just want a few moments of peace.

Then, I'm going to move to Australia.

Happy Returns

So, J stopped at Mc D's with the kids for a happy meal because he was running late on Saturday to get them to a playdate. We rarely do fast food. So, yuck.

When I started driving this morning, I thought I was losing my mind... (too much nyquil?).

I kept hearing voices.

"I know I'm every hippo's dream"

"Wow"

What the ????

Stupid, McDs toys have a motion sensor - so, they repeat this continually the entire way home.

As if their food wasn't bad enough, now their toys will make you crazy too.

Mean Mom

Last week, I took a giant bag of candy into class for my students. They told me that I am a mean mom.

You see, the night before - I put the kids to bed. Then, I put the kids back to bed. Then, I put them back to bed and told them that I expected them to stay put. Then, I finally told them that the next time they got out of bed - they would lose all of their halloween candy.

I thought that they would stand and take notice. Instead, they tested me.

So, the next morning, J and I sequestered the really good stuff for ourselves (we aren't dumb). And, I gave ther rest of the candy to my students.

Mean mom indeed.

In the zone.

When we had our first kid, we could hand him off. He always got tons of one-on-one attention.

Then, we had our second. Now, it was man-on-man defense. Lots of individual attention, we'd keep switching kids. We lost most of our free time.

Now, with three, it is zone defense. Usually, we make it work.

Tonight, we are both sick. The kids are getting sick and (though not tired yet) they are all pissy. I can tell when B is getting sick because, even though he doesn't complain - I start to think about selling him to gypsies. (Is there a caravan nearby?)

When we are both sick, what do we do? Bitch a lot, let the kids run amok and generally feel lousy.

Blech. We need to get back to full-on zone defense before our house falls down.

It's worse than I thought.

Our money pit minivan has no demonstrable exhaust leak, meaning that my headaches are psychosomatic, or evidence of undiagnosed brain cancer.

But, on the negative side, we still need to pour $1400 into it tomorrow.

So, to sum it up,

$400 on vacation last summer
$1000 on tires on the way home from vacation last summer
$800 in repairs a month or so ago
and $1400 tomorrow.

This means, I'll have to drive this car until I am old and gray.

On the plus side, with this headache, I'll be old and gray in no time.