I am ok with my preschooler coming home with directives to explore this or that. He feels "like a big guy" when he has homework.
But - for the love of Pete - two weeks in a row we've gotten a collage assignment with only one night to complete it. On a soccer night, of course.
I am buried with the moaning, crying, and anger over my two big kids homework (and that's just me, they cry too). Give us some flexibility for homework with our four-year-old, please?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Welcome to my neglected home.
If you are coming over from stophomework.com, welcome to my often-neglected home.
If you are here as a regular visitor - you can see me rant over at stophomework.com today on Obama's initiative to increase the duration of both school years and days. Because, if something isn't working - what you need is MORE OF IT.
Eesh.
If you are here as a regular visitor - you can see me rant over at stophomework.com today on Obama's initiative to increase the duration of both school years and days. Because, if something isn't working - what you need is MORE OF IT.
Eesh.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Modern Paranoia
I have been officially scolded by my kids' schoolbus driver.
First, the school has an official policy that no child may get off the bus without an adult waiting for them. I don't really agree with this policy.
As an aside, walking and biking to school is forbidden (it is on a very busy road, but really?). The pick-up lines can take 20 minutes or more.
I was a latch-key kid from fourth grade up. Many kids in that day were. This does require parents to be sensitive to their kids' maturity. It also requires some lessons in common sense (how to answer the phone, whether to answer the door, not to use appliances, etc.). I felt grown-up and empowered. I'd fix myself a salad (yes, a salad) then read, play or (sometimes) watch tv until mom got home two hours later. I bear no scars. Many of my friends did the same thing, and (more or less) did fine. Some watched more tv than others and some ate more junk food than others (they can only eat what is at the house, by the way).
This is not a message only to gripe about the school eliminating elementary latch-key kids, though. There is a more Draconian policy.
The pressing policy here is that the bus driver will only let the kids off the bus for someone they know. What does that even mean? She let them off for my husband because the kids said he was their dad and likewise for my father.
I use a variety of different college kids college kids for after-care. The college kids do a great job (usually), I have a steady supply (I do not use current students, but have many former students on campus), and they can usually find their own replacements for the inevitable sick day or college obligation. I (usually) know in advance and can send a note to the driver for this inane policy.
If I forget to leave a note (or don't know in time to do so)... the driver objects. That said, she has, sometimes, let the kids off for unexepected babysitters (to whom she delivers scathing rebukes).
But, she absolutely refused to let them off the bus for a male student. She returned the kids to the school and the school called me. I had to reassure the lady in the office that, indeed, I did hire a male babysitter and he would be perfectly fine to send the kids with. Then, he had to pick them up at the school. As an aside, he did not have a booster seat so, technically, he broke the law at that time by driving the kids the 1.5 miles to our house. That would have, of course, been unecessary if the driver had just let the kids off the bus.
How does the school imagine that the usual sitter was absent and another young (male) college kid was standing in? What are the options?
First, the school has an official policy that no child may get off the bus without an adult waiting for them. I don't really agree with this policy.
As an aside, walking and biking to school is forbidden (it is on a very busy road, but really?). The pick-up lines can take 20 minutes or more.
I was a latch-key kid from fourth grade up. Many kids in that day were. This does require parents to be sensitive to their kids' maturity. It also requires some lessons in common sense (how to answer the phone, whether to answer the door, not to use appliances, etc.). I felt grown-up and empowered. I'd fix myself a salad (yes, a salad) then read, play or (sometimes) watch tv until mom got home two hours later. I bear no scars. Many of my friends did the same thing, and (more or less) did fine. Some watched more tv than others and some ate more junk food than others (they can only eat what is at the house, by the way).
This is not a message only to gripe about the school eliminating elementary latch-key kids, though. There is a more Draconian policy.
The pressing policy here is that the bus driver will only let the kids off the bus for someone they know. What does that even mean? She let them off for my husband because the kids said he was their dad and likewise for my father.
I use a variety of different college kids college kids for after-care. The college kids do a great job (usually), I have a steady supply (I do not use current students, but have many former students on campus), and they can usually find their own replacements for the inevitable sick day or college obligation. I (usually) know in advance and can send a note to the driver for this inane policy.
If I forget to leave a note (or don't know in time to do so)... the driver objects. That said, she has, sometimes, let the kids off for unexepected babysitters (to whom she delivers scathing rebukes).
But, she absolutely refused to let them off the bus for a male student. She returned the kids to the school and the school called me. I had to reassure the lady in the office that, indeed, I did hire a male babysitter and he would be perfectly fine to send the kids with. Then, he had to pick them up at the school. As an aside, he did not have a booster seat so, technically, he broke the law at that time by driving the kids the 1.5 miles to our house. That would have, of course, been unecessary if the driver had just let the kids off the bus.
How does the school imagine that the usual sitter was absent and another young (male) college kid was standing in? What are the options?
- The usual kid called a (male, in this case) student to stand in due to illness.
- The usual kid is running late and asked a friend to fill in for a minute.
- The usual student is bound and gagged in my house and this nefarious looking college man is standing in ready to kidnap my kids.
- The usual student forgot to babysit today and this man happened to be waiting to take her place should she fail to show.
Can we safely discount the likelihood of items three and four? According to Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids - if you wanted your child to be abducted by a stranger - you would need to leave them (on average) on a curb for 780,000 years. This doesn't make stranger abductions any less tragic... but, this is not something the school needs policies to protect against.
Further and most importantly - why trust the women and not the men? What has happened to a sexist society where we don't trust men with children? It is any wonder that some men are disengaged in parenting? Do we not predispose them as such by assuming them untrustworthy with children until they have their own?
And, I may be alone here... but, I have certainly seen women marginalize the male contribution by suggesting that they aren't as good at diapering, dressing the kid, or whatever. Do we wonder why men often don't participate fully? Men may parent a little differently, but maybe we all need that balance.
Friday, August 14, 2009
MIT will wait for you.
"I cant' find the buckle".
My sister A and I said, simultaneously "Andrew. Quit screwing around buckle up".
At this point, I look at Z (my oldest), and see that he is blanching. "Z, What!"
"Mom," Z says, "I think that the buckle might be gone".
"Might be gone? How could a buckle be gone?"
"Well," Z goes on, "I might have played with it".
"Playing with it doesn't make it go away. Andrew - look more carefully... did Z push the buckle in between the seats?"
I look at Z again, "What?"
"I mean, I think that I might have kind of taken it off".
"You did what? So, where is it? ... Everyone, let's look on the floor of the car, they can't have gone far".
Z blanches. Sheepish, he says, "Um, I think we'll have to drive separately".
Driving our combined five children in two separate cars for an additional eight hours in each direction is not really the solution we were looking for at five pm on a Friday.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, mom, I kind of think I took it off, then... it was really long ago, things have gotten really jumbled around in here. I am pretty sure that some of the pieces are gone."
"When did you do this? And, um, what do you mean pieces? Where would they go?"
"Well, mom, I took it apart a long time ago. There were three pieces. And, we've cleaned out the car a few times since then... I'm sure that all of the pieces aren't still here."
So, there my sister and I are... at 5:15 on a Friday evening, trying to find a Honda dealer that has this part. Each one I call says they don't stock that part... because it isn't removable. I direct them to my eight-year-old for instructions. We finally find one that is (sort of) on the way to our destination - so, we all pile in (sister in unbuckled seat, eleven year old nephew illegally in front seat) to get the part.
After an hour of driving - they have the wrong part set aside. The parts department is closed, my sister loses her temper, and we are told, there is nothing they can do. As I plead our case, my sister goes in search of a salesmen. She convinces them to remove the piece from a vehicle on the lot and charge us to replace it.
It takes a mechanic twenty minutes and three tools to remove the piece from the existing car, and my son has to show him how to install it (using the tools) to our car. It took him over twenty minutes to install, because he refused to listen to my son that insisted a piece was missing... until a woman from the dealership ran out with the errant piece of hardware.
Are you as smart as an eight year old?
Of course, on reflection, I realize where his idea for removal came from. Three or four months ago I yelled at the kids about the danger of fighting over the strap with the metal buckle on the end. Somewhere in Z's unusual brain, this triggered the idea that the safest thing (actual car safety aside) would be to remove the offending piece (so they couldn't fight over it anymore). I am sure this is what happened... I only wish he would take more seriously the dangers of having pee on the bathroom floor or the dreaded unflushed toilet.
My sister A and I said, simultaneously "Andrew. Quit screwing around buckle up".
At this point, I look at Z (my oldest), and see that he is blanching. "Z, What!"
"Mom," Z says, "I think that the buckle might be gone".
"Might be gone? How could a buckle be gone?"
"Well," Z goes on, "I might have played with it".
"Playing with it doesn't make it go away. Andrew - look more carefully... did Z push the buckle in between the seats?"
I look at Z again, "What?"
"I mean, I think that I might have kind of taken it off".
"You did what? So, where is it? ... Everyone, let's look on the floor of the car, they can't have gone far".
Z blanches. Sheepish, he says, "Um, I think we'll have to drive separately".
Driving our combined five children in two separate cars for an additional eight hours in each direction is not really the solution we were looking for at five pm on a Friday.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, mom, I kind of think I took it off, then... it was really long ago, things have gotten really jumbled around in here. I am pretty sure that some of the pieces are gone."
"When did you do this? And, um, what do you mean pieces? Where would they go?"
"Well, mom, I took it apart a long time ago. There were three pieces. And, we've cleaned out the car a few times since then... I'm sure that all of the pieces aren't still here."
So, there my sister and I are... at 5:15 on a Friday evening, trying to find a Honda dealer that has this part. Each one I call says they don't stock that part... because it isn't removable. I direct them to my eight-year-old for instructions. We finally find one that is (sort of) on the way to our destination - so, we all pile in (sister in unbuckled seat, eleven year old nephew illegally in front seat) to get the part.
After an hour of driving - they have the wrong part set aside. The parts department is closed, my sister loses her temper, and we are told, there is nothing they can do. As I plead our case, my sister goes in search of a salesmen. She convinces them to remove the piece from a vehicle on the lot and charge us to replace it.
It takes a mechanic twenty minutes and three tools to remove the piece from the existing car, and my son has to show him how to install it (using the tools) to our car. It took him over twenty minutes to install, because he refused to listen to my son that insisted a piece was missing... until a woman from the dealership ran out with the errant piece of hardware.
Are you as smart as an eight year old?
Of course, on reflection, I realize where his idea for removal came from. Three or four months ago I yelled at the kids about the danger of fighting over the strap with the metal buckle on the end. Somewhere in Z's unusual brain, this triggered the idea that the safest thing (actual car safety aside) would be to remove the offending piece (so they couldn't fight over it anymore). I am sure this is what happened... I only wish he would take more seriously the dangers of having pee on the bathroom floor or the dreaded unflushed toilet.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Don't you hate it...
when you have a kid over for a sleepover, then find out from the mom when you return them home that they've been sick?
Guess what? My kid is getting sick now... no, really, he is. How surprising.
Guess what? My kid is getting sick now... no, really, he is. How surprising.
My Name Is Michael
Shocking news... MJ is dead. This, coming on the heels of lots of other "celebrity" news, should remind people of the price of fame.
I don't miss the Thriller era, and I wasn't especially a fan of Beat It, or Billie Jean. I couldn't even tell you much about these songs, except that I remember the Thriller video and that MJ couldn't really pull off the gangsta look in the Beat It video. But, I have fond memories of hearing the Jackson Five. I know, I know... I'm dating myself... in my defense I have much older siblings, so I skipped a lot of the teenybopper stuff I was supposed to like (e.g. Shaun Cassidy).
In homage to MJ, I listened to My Name is Michael, by the Jackson Five. His sweet innocent voice, that he tried so hard to hang onto is so bittersweet now. The young man lost all semblance of a normal life when the Jackson Five made it big. His self-image problems, fueled by an unusual family, his earning power, and the public scrutiny of his career, insured that he would never have a normal moment or a sincere trusted friend - someone that wasn't influenced by his money or power.
Why is it that we seem pathologically unable to either leave people alone (even if we like their music)? Even more frightening, why are we pathologically unable to avoid fame, even after watching hundreds of celebrities self-ignite in the glow of it?
Why, oh why, didn't John and Kate (plus eight) see it coming? I'm not really a fan or a detractor (I may have seen part of two episodes), not really my cup of tea... but even back to the first reality television (a PBS series in the 70's), no marriages have survived the scrutiny.* Maybe the sanctity of marriage and family life aren't intended for public scrutiny. Maybe all of us, if shown in tv soundbites, would seem so atrocious and unmatched that we wouldn't be able to bear staying with our partners?
Let's have a momnt of silence.. but not just for poor disfunctional, unhappy Michael, but also for the lives of so many that our constant intrusion has ruined.
And, let's hope that that the next family that is approached with a television deal has the good sense to avoid fame and fortune and be working stiffs like the rest of us - it isn't glamorous, but it has more potential for happiness.
*With the possible exception of the Duggar family with 19 children and counting... but, I am not completely convinced that they are actually human.
I don't miss the Thriller era, and I wasn't especially a fan of Beat It, or Billie Jean. I couldn't even tell you much about these songs, except that I remember the Thriller video and that MJ couldn't really pull off the gangsta look in the Beat It video. But, I have fond memories of hearing the Jackson Five. I know, I know... I'm dating myself... in my defense I have much older siblings, so I skipped a lot of the teenybopper stuff I was supposed to like (e.g. Shaun Cassidy).
In homage to MJ, I listened to My Name is Michael, by the Jackson Five. His sweet innocent voice, that he tried so hard to hang onto is so bittersweet now. The young man lost all semblance of a normal life when the Jackson Five made it big. His self-image problems, fueled by an unusual family, his earning power, and the public scrutiny of his career, insured that he would never have a normal moment or a sincere trusted friend - someone that wasn't influenced by his money or power.
Why is it that we seem pathologically unable to either leave people alone (even if we like their music)? Even more frightening, why are we pathologically unable to avoid fame, even after watching hundreds of celebrities self-ignite in the glow of it?
Why, oh why, didn't John and Kate (plus eight) see it coming? I'm not really a fan or a detractor (I may have seen part of two episodes), not really my cup of tea... but even back to the first reality television (a PBS series in the 70's), no marriages have survived the scrutiny.* Maybe the sanctity of marriage and family life aren't intended for public scrutiny. Maybe all of us, if shown in tv soundbites, would seem so atrocious and unmatched that we wouldn't be able to bear staying with our partners?
Let's have a momnt of silence.. but not just for poor disfunctional, unhappy Michael, but also for the lives of so many that our constant intrusion has ruined.
And, let's hope that that the next family that is approached with a television deal has the good sense to avoid fame and fortune and be working stiffs like the rest of us - it isn't glamorous, but it has more potential for happiness.
*With the possible exception of the Duggar family with 19 children and counting... but, I am not completely convinced that they are actually human.
Friday, June 19, 2009
speaking of throwing the kids outside
It is the umpteenth day of rain. I am trying to pull off a birthday party tomorrow, and the kids are rolling around in the living room wrestling.
Is it ok to throw them out into the rain to clean the house?
Is it ok to throw them out into the rain to clean the house?
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