Thursday, June 2, 2011

Ugly and counterproductive.

At one of my favorite blogs today, there is a battle going on.  It is the same old story - mommy wars.

In this case, it has to do with premarital sex and who has the goods on the right way to prevent it, deal with it, or educate children.  This is the same old thing though... people trying to make themselves feel better by belittling others.  It is as though we never grew past the "mean girl" stage in middle school.

Did you breastfeed your kids? 
In public?
No, really, did you exclusively nurse for long enough?
Did your child lead weaning?
Did you cut them off when nursing wasn't appropriate anymore?
Do you feed them right?
You didn't give solids too soon, did you?
You don't give them junk food?  Or (gasp) soda?
Did you work out of the house?
Are you setting the example that moms should be separated from their children?
Are you able to be nurturing when you are away all day?
Did you stay home?
Are you sending the wrong message about the capabilities of women?
Do you hover too much?
Are you there enough?
Do your kids get dirty?
Don't you let them play outside?
Do you take them to a house of worship?
Is it the right one?
If not, how will they know right from wrong?
Did you homeschool?
How will they ever be socialized?
Do they go to public school?
How will they ever learn the right stuff?
Do they go to private school?
Isn't that elitist?

Is is just possible that there is more than one way to raise children and have it work out?

How about we just try to support one another?

1 comment:

kherbert said...

I agree. Completely the Breast Feeding one really gets me. I have severe, life threatening food allergies. I was asking about peanuts in a restaurant, and this woman at the next table adressed my mother.

I bet you didn't breast feed - see what you did to your child. I was 30 something. We were going to cancel our order and leave. But while telling the manager why, the lady made a snarky remark and the manager told her to leave. Yea Manager.

Some things the woman had no way of knowing.
1. My Mom was a research scientist.

2. My Mom was involved with the 1st kidney transplants in Houston.

3. My Mom was tested regularly for hepatitis because of exposure to blood.

4. Mom tested positive - death's door positive one time. The doc she worked for redid the test because mom had no symptoms. She tested negative. In all probability she never had it. Still to be safe she couldn't donate blood or breast feed.

5. I had my first allergic reaction in the 1st HOUR of life. I reacted to the detergent used to wash the blankets.

6. The skin condition I have has a HIGH coloration to peanut and food allergies.

7. My cousin breast fed - extended. Her 2nd son has a milder version of my skin condition. So they had the blood test done before starting him on solids. He tested positive for peanuts and slew of other things. They kept him on a restricted diet. He had follow up tests. As his immune system matured, he started testing negative to things. Now only Peanuts in on the list. That is probably going to be life long.

Sometimes genetics bites you. In our case everyone is still alive, skin condition is manageable and peanuts are avoidable.