Thursday, October 4, 2007

Don't you hate uninvited guests?

I hate it when you look up, sitting at your computer, and there they are... wandering around, slightly off-kilter, zipping hither and thither all around your house. God sakes, they don't smell nice, they are rude, they interrupt family time, work time, sleep time.

Oh, and forgodsakes, they like light... so, at night when I can't sleep and I am minding my own business, lurking on other people's blogs, they show up.

First, it's the humming. (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - hard to localize, but you know they're there.

Then, you might see one for an instant.

Then - WHAM - in the side of the head (shit, goddamnit, get away from me).

Shit, I am a field biologist, and even I hate a stinkbug in the house.

These little bastards have been lurking around, on, and in our house for like two weeks now. Not just a couple of them, that would be interesting. It is more like hundreds... or thousands of them - all over the inside and outside of our house.

To you would-be Orkin men, I know - determine the route of access - try my three children that think closing the doors makes our house less fun).

And, they are complete crap at flying. So, once they start in your direction (say, toward your computer screen, they could unpredictable plummet or veer at any random moment).

Yup, it's these guys I am talking about:


They are out in force in Virginia right now.

Whenever I stand near our garage door, they fly into my head, then I have to keep wondering if they are in my hair. No, really, I mean, I collect and study spiders, but these things piss me off.

The only thing worse then these are these...

These bastards live in our bathroom.

These are the only beasts that make this field biologist call dh for disposal.

What is it that makes these strike fear in me when I can pick up hairy spiders in my bare hands?

Listen to this - it is gross: When you kill them - the bastards leave squiggling legs all over the place (eeewwwwwww!).

Oh, and they are venomous.

Fucking lovely.


Jonathan said...

All we really get in the UK are ants, garden spiders, and crane flies ("Daddy Long Legs").

We sometimes get wolf spiders in the house - very pretty, and really rather fearsome looking.

Sometimes get little tiny spiders we call "money spiders".

richgold said...

Ok. That's just icky. I'm not a biologist by choice. I don't like camping. I can't stand a fly in the house. I can only sympathize with you. (I lived in VA for a period of time. The worst thing I had encountered was a secada (sp?) and a few field mice. That was squicky enough for me!)